How to Know He is the Guy God Picked For You

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Ever since I started sharing pictures with my now fiancé on my page I have gotten one particular question a lot. Girls of all different ages have been asking how to know if the guy I am with is the one God picked for me, or how to find that guy, and just a lot of questions pertaining to relationships and wanting to be in the right one. 

Before Ethan and I started dating I had gone out with guys but never had a serious boyfriend that I stayed consistent with. I would go out on some dates during high school and in middle school I had a “boyfriend”, who was basically just a friend deemed with that title and we would only hang out in big groups of friends or at school during lunch with super awkward middle school tendencies. But I was never involved with anyone seriously and no guy ever seemed to fit with me in a relationship context. So when I met Ethan and we started dating and it got serious it was a whole new experience for me. To start spending everyday with someone who wanted to pursue a serious relationship with me, who loved Jesus and to start having serious feelings, it was very new to me. I remember when he started to pursue me, I wasn’t sure where it was going to lead, but the biggest difference between him and boys I had known in the past was the intention and determination he put into pursing me. Looking back at the weeks before we started dating I realized all the ways he began to pursue me and be intentional with our relashionship.

To be completely honest with you I never really knew or understood intentional dating up until my senior year of high school. I had never been exposed to it and I never wanted to be serious with anyone because I was so young and not convicted about finding anyone to be with. I saw my self going off to college and spending a few years living as a single women independently before dating a few guys, finding someone and starting dating serious, and then marrying them. But, the Autumn before I met Ethan my perspective changed a lot.

I learned about what it meant to trust God to pick your spouse and date with the intention of marriage. I sat down and began to seriously pray about what that meant to me and what that would look like. I thought that if I trust God with ever other part of my life and surrender everything to him then this is an area I needed to surrender to him. I really wanted a boyfriend for a long time and didn’t have one. After I decided my heart was set on intentionally seeking someone and that it was what God was leading me to do, I started praying about it. I asked God to let the next guy I date be the one he picked for me to marry if that’s what he had planned for my life. I prayed for my future husband and made a list about the type of man I hoped he would be.  Then came a season of waiting. 

By the time summer rolled around I was no longer thinking of getting into any kind of relationship, and my priorities shifted elsewhere. I was focused on school, my business, growing in my faith, and my blog. I was enjoying just being single and having the time to spend with those closest to me. During this time, one summer night my church had a young adult group pool party at one of my best friend’s house. There was a new guy there who I had never met before. I remember thinking how cute he was, listening to him sing and lead worship for us that night, getting his instagram and then just shrugging it off thinking he was cute and not expecting to much to come out of it. 

Over the next few weeks we started DMing, then snapchating, and then texting constantly. Eventually, he came over to my house for another youth group bible study one night and afterwards our group went mini golfing. That night we had a chance to talk alone and really connected. After that he invited himself over to my house to give me guitar lessons and then after that we hung out every night after work, and before I knew it he was my boyfriend. The whole relationship between us happened very quickly, very intentional, very naturally and he was intentional with pursing me and his intentions.  One whole year later, we are engaged and he is my closet friend and the love of my life.

A few weeks after we got engaged I was in my room cleaning and I found a old note book. As I went through it I find the list I made for the type of man I was looking for and what I hoped God would bring into my life. Now the list was very specific in some areas, and Ethan checked off every single one of them. God is so faithful, he answered so many of my prayers when he brought Ethan into my life. 

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I knew from the day I said yes to being Ethan’s girlfriend that I could see myself marrying him. I knew that his qualities were ones I had desired in a future husband. As our relationship progressed it wasn’t always easy, but it always felt right and God put it on both of our hearts to stay together no matter what. We went though a rough patch of a couple months where we both struggled with our relationship and our goals for our life, but God continued to put it on our hearts that we should stay together. I knew he was “the one” because even with everything we went through and all of the obstacles we faced, God kept pushing us to pursue a relationship with each other even when the option of breaking up seemed easier. 

My best advice to the question of what to look for in the next guy you date is to pray about it and take hold of what qualities God puts on your heart. After you pray about those qualities make a list and in a time of waiting pray on them. Pray for your future husband and trust God to help you navigate dating because it can be such a difficult thing at times. If you have a boyfriend now or a fiancé and it isn’t on your heart from God to stay with them, or if it doesn’t feel right, then leave him. God always has a plan for you and the man he has picked for you will be the best possible person in your life and exceed your expectations if you let God lead your relationship. 

Some questions you can ask yourself are:

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1. Is he a type of man you would be proud to have your son be just like?

2. If you had a daughter, would you want her to be treated the way you are treated?

3. Does he spiritually lead you? Is he in a place of spiritual maturity?

4. Does he fit the qualities the bible says a man should have? 

A Good friend once told me to use 1 corinthians 13:4-8 as a guideline, and to replace the word love with the name of the guy I am with. Is he patient? Is he to jealous of others? Is he humble? Does he brag too much? Is he rude? Is he selfish? Does he get really angry? Does he hold grudges?

No man is perfect, we all have flaws and areas where we need to improve and ways God can sharpen us. But its important to trust God, even with our relationships because he has a wonderful plan for our future and knows exactly the type of man he intends for us to be with. 

God is so intentional. It amazes me how he works. If you are the girl in a season of waiting know this: 

God has a man for you, in this season of waiting  theres is a reason, and he is preparing you both and will bring you together in his time. You are a beautiful amazing daughter of Christ and he has such a wonderful godly man for you. Don’t compromise your standards and what you  hope for just for the sake of being in a relationship. Because the relationship God has for you, with the right man will exceed all you expectations. do not try and allow you convictions of wallets in a future spouse to be swayed even when you get impatient with waiting. Trust God and his timing, knowing that there is a time for everything and that with each season there is purpose. 

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An open letter about my baptism, testimony and what God is currently doing in my life

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Wow oh wow! I can’t say enough about how thankful I am to have been baptized and what a blessing it was to share it with so many of you through my feed. I am in Awe of God and the way he works in our lives everyday. 

I got baptized alongside six others from my church and the whole experience was just amazing. Being baptized felt like a renewal and commitment to following Christ's  path for my life that I have been needing. It felt as if my past guilt, shame, and sorrow had been washed away and God used this to show me I am whole and holy and his daughter. After I share more about my current season of life and testimony you may start to see what a true renew my baptism was for my walk with Christ and a way he was able to  shower me with his grace and redeeming powers of love. 

and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a clear conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ -1 Peter 3:21

The day of my baptism I had never been so nervous. I have done speaking events in front of hundreds of people and been confident to share what was on my heart but sharing my testimony with such raw, new and heavy things seemed like a mountain I wouldn’t be able to climb. My palms were sweating and I was shaking as I shared my testimony, afraid of judgment and backlash I expected to receive or thought I deserved. I am someone who hates to cry and while I was sharing my testimony pain and unsettled feelings washed up within me and I overflowed with tears and began to have trouble even speaking. God’s grace washed over me and before I knew it I was in the pool being prayed over and baptized. I forgot about the many people in the audience and was able to be in the moment and feel the gravity and amazing grace that had just been given to me as a child of God. 

 For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ - Galatians 3:27

God took my greatest fear sharing something so personal and used it to further my walk with him and also  demonstrate his grace to me and remind me of what it looks like to love and show the kindness of Christ.

The day I was baptized God showed me

  1. That I am his daughter & nothing will steal me from his love 
  2. The kindness, love and what it looks like to respond to someone as Christ would 
  3. He gave a confidence of his plans in my current and new season of life 

After I shared my testimony so many people from the crowd came up to me, poured prayers over me and words of encouragement. I didn’t expect to receive that much love and kindness but God showed his grace and brought a community of believers into my life to demonstrate his loving, unjudging forgiveness. They told me that they were inspired by the courage and showed me grace like I had never seen before. 

God showed me that the real beauty of being his follower and being a disciple is sharing every piece of our testimony, and allowing him to steer our paths, giving him to glory to mend the broken and make beauty out of ashes. 

While you read my testimony you can see how imperfect I am, the pain I faced and the sins I fell into. You will know that I’m no better than you or anyone else but simply I’m just a girl with a heart for Jesus and a desire to follow him. 

My prayer for whoever reads this testimony is that they are reminded of God's grace and redemption through my words. That not only will this be a story of a life told but a example of how amazing God is and just how amazing it is in the ways he works and moves mountains for his children. 

 

My testimony

Growing up my parents raised me with faith, I went to catholic church and would attend CCD classes but it wasn’t until I was 10 years old that God showed me there was much more to faith then just attending church services and learning the traditions of a church. 

When I was 10 years old I was diagnosed with cancer and during that time the Lord showed my what it means to receive his mercy and grace through faith and trust in Jesus. I submitted to Christ and I began to learn what a relationship with him looked like. He gave my mom a bible verse to cling to while I was sick that was Luke 8:50  "But when Jesus heard it, he answered him, saying, Fear not: believe only, and she shall be made whole.”  During that time the verse gave my family  hope and a promise that Christ fulfilled in my life. I saw Jesus work all around me, by turning pain to something to glorify him , healing me completely and changing the lives of people around me.  

Because of my cancer diagnoses the Lord used my story to inspire others and remind them of His remedying healing powers. 

After I went to high school I went to a private catholic high school and lost sight of the strong faith I once held. I wouldn’t go out and party or date around or  anything like that but I lost sight of how important it was to read the bible, pray, and spend time with Jesus. 

My Junior year of high school I began to pursue my walk with Christ again and was reminded why I needed a relationship with him. He gave me an online platform to start sharing his word and started to develop a deep desire for him within me to have a relationship and serve him with all of my actions.                                                              

I have heard people say faith is a journey and my walk with Jesus truly has been. A few months ago I fell into sin with my fiancé  and we found out that we are expecting a son this January. Even though I sinned the Lord is continuing to work in my life. taking ashes and bringing them to beauty. He has brought so many people into my life to strengthen  my faith and walk with Jesus to allow this situation to glorify him and refine and mature me through this. I know the Lord has forgiven me and is walking through this season of life with me to redeem the broken and shine his love. I am so thankful for the mercy, patience, and forgiveness of our God. I’m so thankful that he continues to draw me to Himself, and that Christ died for all my sin, past present, and future that I may repent and walk in forgiveness as a daughter of the king.

Through every season of life Jesus has been with me and I feel so blessed to know who my savior is. 

This is my testimony. It may be short but those are the things Ive walked through with Christ by my side. This is the season of life I am in and the way I have seen God work around me has been nothing short of amazing and such a blessing. 

Currently I am in college pursuing my degree, working on planning a wedding to my fiancé and father of my son and preparing to be a mother and wife in the way that God has called me to be. 

God has restored my soul in this season of repentance and preparation. He has changed my heart where need be, removed people from my path and brought an amazing community of believers into my life to ministry to me during this time. He has brought couples who walked through the same season to show me just how he will use this child for his glory and allow the shame to fall off as I cling to his mercy and grace. 

Psalm 51

Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

 For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is always before me.
 Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
    and justified when you judge.
 Surely I was sinful at birth,
    sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
    you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
 Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
 Hide your face from my sins
    and blot out all my iniquity.

 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
 Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
    so that sinners will turn back to you.
Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
    you who are God my Savior,
    and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
Open my lips, Lord,
    and my mouth will declare your praise.
 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
    you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart
    you, God, will not despise.

 May it please you to prosper Zion,
    to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
    in burnt offerings offered whole;
    then bulls will be offered on your altar.

The meaning behind Inspiring Honey

I get this one question a lot, in Dm, comments and emails asking what does Inspiring Honey mean? 

It is much more to me than just an Instagram handle or a name printed across a t-shirt. It carries a meaning that is from one of my favorite bible verses taught me and I think everyone could use a reminder of. The power of kindness and words and how impactful they are. 

 

When I started Inspiring Honey a little over a year ago, I had no idea what I wanted to call it or what I wanted it to be. I just felt God was leading me to share his word  and what he was teaching me with an online community.  I prayed over it and that same night God brought the words Inspiring Honey into my mind that came from Proverbs 16:24. 

 

 

Proverbs 16:24 has long been one of my favorite verses that motivated a lot of what I had been doing and what I have continue to  do . I grew up as a public speaker and writer. So with the background of sharing words with others, words have always held a special meaning to me and this verse  has always served as a reminder of the gravity my words carry and the impact that speaking with kindness could have on others. So with my blog and podcast my prayer was that it would inspire kindness and love for Jesus and shine a light into others lives. That was how the name Inspiring Honey was born. 

 

The name is as same as it sounds to inspire honey to flow into the lives of others, to inspire others to show kindness and be reminded of Jesus’s love everyday. 

 

But as it got printed on to t-shirt that people across the country wear I hoped it created more than just a message of kindness. I prayed it created a movement that inspired people to show kindness because of the love and grace their savior shows to them. I wanted it to be more than just another t-shirt or christian apparel but a tool to create conversation that would remind you of the power of your words and to share the gospel with others. 

 

What Inspiring Honey means is so much more than just an Instagram  handle or words printed across a T-shirt. It serves as a reminder of what God tells us our words can do and the way we can be disciples of his kingdom by showing simple acts of kindness and love that shine his light into the world. 

 

When I hear the word honey I think of comfort, sweet, light and something that is a treat that can be had on any day and also comfort in sickness when stirred into tea. That is what God's words have the power to do, to be a comfort in times of trouble, a light through darkness and heal any brokenness our heart issues within us. To me it symbolizes the sweetness, comforting healing power of the gospel.  When I hear the word inspiring I think the power to help influence and change for God's glory. So together Inspiring Honey at its core is to create to influence change of kindness and comfort to bring light into the world for God’s glory. 

 

You see it is much more than just words, It's a movement to encourage kindness and shine the light of God's beautiful truth into any day and to stir up a change. In a world where words have the power to cast darkness we can choose to allow our words to shine light and glory spreading God's word.

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