Be the Friend You Wish You Had!
Friendship is a gift. Having someone who you know truly loves you and cares for you is one of the biggest blessings this life can offer. It can be hard to find friend(s) who will always loves and support you no matter what you face in life. I know that friendship is a universal relationship all people have experienced in some capacity but finding a true friendship is rare.
I made my first friend when I was two years old just by having one play date. At two years old we became instant friends and I remember playing with her, my sister and her older siblings when we were young.
I wish making friends now was just as easy as it was when I was a little kid. When hearts were so pure and there was nothing complicated to ruin friendships or never a reason to hurt the other person. As we get older for some reason life gets more complicated and friendships aren’t so easily made. When we are kids we have child like trust and love for everyone but as we grow older we lose that trust and begin to be harden by the world. The older I get the more I have been realizing that friendship is less about the amount of people surrounding me and more about the quality of person in my life. One thing I learned about friendship is it isn't about me but about the other person and being there for them.
At the end of 8th grade one of my best friends moved out of the country, then the following years she moved again and again but through the miles and distance we still remain close. She is like a extend part of my family and we often joke that she is the extra sister we shipped off to boarding school.
Through having a friendship that is long distance I learned that friendship isn’t about spending hours every day together but about the love you have for the other person and the quality time when you get to visit one another. Having a friendship can’t be one sided, it can’t just be about how it will best serve you or what the other person can do for you.
I view friendship like a seesaw from the playground. When you run out and sit on the seesaw you won’t move or go anywhere by yourself. If someone who is a lot taller and larger than you sits down on the other side you will fly up really high but they will remain low. If someone a lot smaller than you sits on the other side of you you won’t go anywhere and they will sit really high up but if someone of equal size sits with you you will balance the seesaw out and both of you will be lifted off the ground.
Friendship is just like that you can’t give too little and expect too much and you can’t be over bearing and not weight the other person down.
Friendship is about finding a balance too lift both people to be the best they can be.
What I have learned through my long distance best friend/ sisterhood is that having a good friendship is about being the best friend you can be!
Everyone always gets messed up on how to be a good friend and that's were friendship gets messed up and complicated.
So I decided to write qualities I think every great friendships has to have so that you too can apply them with your friends and watch the relationships grow a greater bond.
Honesty- is always the best policy and when it comes to friendship. Being honest and open about life is the best thing to do. If you feel heart break be honest and tell your friend why so they can help you. If you make a fail be honest and allow your friend to comfort you. If your friend is gonna make a huge mistake or doing something thats so not them be honest and tell them what you see going on. Being honest and open in a friendship strengthens the bond and allows you guys to know that no matter what you can count that there is no lies or secrecy.
Supportive - If you truly love and care for someone then you will want them to be successful. Being a friend is amazing because you get to watch someone grow and try new things and learn what they are super good at. Support your friend in all that they do, be there to tell them you are proud! Send them a congrats text or just straight up tell them you are proud of all they have done.
A Good Listener- life isn’t easy and when days are rough we need our friends shoulders to cry on. Be there to hear their problems and to understand what is going on with their life. A good friend is always there with a box of tissues when life just hits you hard and you need to have a good old fashion vent session.
Uplifting- there are days when everyone needs a little extra encouragement and a good friend is always there with a smile or food or what ever it may be to turn the day from drab to fab.
Embraces Weirdness- a great friend is someone who lets you be you, someone who always lets you be as strange and unfiltered authentic version of yourself and never judges a word you say but laughs at the crazy moments. Everyone needs a friend that appreciates the ugly selfies you take and let you sing your favorite songs off pitch in the car.
Fun Seeker- Friends wear a lot of hats but a best friend is someone you can aways have fun and laugh with. Having fun and loving life together keeps friendship alive.
BFF before SO- Best friend before significant other always!! Like the famous Spice Girls lyrics say "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.Make it last forever, friendship never ends”! Friendship last a lot longer than some relationships will. Crushes and boyfriends come and go but the person to pick you up after those heartbreaks is your best friend! Don’t ditch your best friend because your relationship status changed.
Love & Kindness - The most important ingredients to friendship is love and kindness. If you put love at the center of the friendship and do everything out of love everything works out better.
Friendship is a gift and having a great friendship is about being a great friend. Its not about having 100 people you call your friend but not knowing who to call when you need someone. It is about having those few people or one person who always has your back when you need them. Don’t settle into friendships because of obligations or popularity but find and establish a friendships based from a place of sincerity and love!!